Remembering

I remember being scared as we drove home to St. George from my parents home in Orem right after the holidays in January 2009. I was in so much pain by the time we reached Cedar City that I was curled up in the fetal position and letting my boys see the fear and pain in my eyes. As a mother, I have always been aware of the need to shelter my boys (at least when they were very young) from getting too frightened. I knew there would be times that they would experience pain and discomfort, but I also knew that Tony or I would be right there to comfort them and reassure them that they were protected and that all was right in the world. However, by this time in our drive home, I was in such severe pain that I was almost delirious and I remember knowing that my pain and fear were apparent on my face, yet realizing that I could not control those reactions. I HATED that! More than the pain or the fear: I hated knowing that my boys could feel it and that there was nothing I could do about it! I had lost the ability to control that.
When we arrived in St. George, it was very obvious that we needed to go straight to the nearest ER rather than go home. This was a very frustrating thought because I had been to three emergency rooms during the past week trying to find a reason for my pain and each visit just made us more concerned and confused. I knew that I had a cyst on my left ovary because I had an ultrasound done at my OB/GYN's office in St. George before we even went to Orem for Christmas. It was done on December 22, 2008, because the last period I had started at the beginning of November and I was still bleeding at the end of December. The ultrasound technician told me that the cyst was large enough that there was a possibility of it torquing my ovary and preventing the blood supply from reaching that ovary. We thought this was the cause of my pain and we were sure to tell every ER doctor and nurse about this. The doctor at the first ER visit even ordered another ultrasound, but it showed the blood supply reaching the ovary so we were told that was not the cause. I was sent away from that visit with pain medication and the advice to call my OB/GYN after the holidays. Little did I know that by the new year, I would be fighting for my life! At the subsequent ER visits we were given the same advice, but there was not another ultrasound performed and there was not (at ANY of the ER visits) a pelvic exam performed, which struck us as a bit strange.
The last thing I remember was being admitted to Dixie Regional Medical Center in St. George after that terrible car ride. In future posts, I will write about the things that I saw while I was in a coma for two weeks. During that time, I was unaware of countless doctors trying to save my life and countless prayers on behalf of my family and friends given asking the Lord to spare my life. For the next little while I will be writing what I remember. After that I will retell some of what I had been told and then I can write what I remember after waking from my coma.